Baby steps.

"Just let go", I've been telling this to myself for the past few days. Nathan is in the phase where he wants to roam around and just grab things and explore. We were at the supermarket one time and he refused to be carried, instead he wanted to be put down so he can walk, assisted syempre. He also refuses now to be held at both hands when walking, gusto niya one-hand assist nalang. And though I'm really proud of this achievement and milestone, I can't help but still feel a bit OA. HAY I really feel that I don't make sense at all pero, ang hirap pala!



Two days ago, we were at National Bookstore. Nathan and I were at the children's book section while his Dudad was busy looking for his art materials. Normally, I would babywear Nathan and just browse through the book collection, but last time was different. He refused to be carried, and --- he wanted to touch the books and as if telling me, "Ako pipili Mommy!"

Then yesterday came. Tita Angie was here and she told me, "Naglalakad na dapat si Nathan mag-isa, gusto niya na oh, ikaw lang ang takot." And then it hit me. Oo nga, by the looks of it, gusto na talaga maglakad ni Nathan mag isa, but all along, I was too scared to let him go. I always hold his hand, natatakot kasi ako baka bumagsak siya, mauntog -- worse, mapilayan.

I didn't realize that for him to learn to take that first step on his own, I have to learn to let go and just allow him to explore.

Ang OA ba? So yesterday, I held him lang sa elbow niya and allowed him to walk alone. AND HE DID! Five steps, ten steps! At patakbo pa nga. Syempre, nasa likod niya parin ako the whole time, but the thing is, kaya na niya talaga! And as if on cue, he would glance back at me, as if to check kung andun lang ako then he would start to walk.

Hay I know there would be lots more of 'letting go's' coming our way. I'm sure I will be just as OA, but hey, in my defense, better safe than sorry. :p

*Sigh*.