I would, desperately, If I could.

Yesterday, we were eating at Libis when the woman across our table complimented us on how big Nathan is. Siyempre, I smiled at her and thanked her, then continued to ask how old her son is as well. Then she asked me, “Breastfed?” I said, “No, formula.” She smiled and with a prodding voice, she said, “Mag breastfeed ka.”

I just smiled at her.

I wanted to tell her, I would, God knows I would — with every inch of my will, if I could. I would breastfeed with every chance, if I could.

The bitter reality here is that when you become a mom, all eyes are on you. How you dress your child, how you feed him, how you discipline him and all others. You become a public figure without even wanting to. It’s harsh,  but really, I feel like that’s the case now.

I wanted to tell her that even if I don’t breastfeed, I make sure we give Nathan the proper care he deserves. I wanted to tell her that but I was caught so off-guard that all I managed was to fake a smile. I was hurting. I was offended.

At the back of my mind, I want to believe she only meant well for Nathan. I want to believe she’s not judging or anything, but just means well for everyone. It’s nice of her to remind moms to breastfeed, I guess. Or maybe not.

See, it all boils down to respect. Not everyone is on the same path as  you are.